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A year later...

One year ago today I made a post here telling you all that we had lost Chris’s dad, Danny, to suicide. One year later, I want to share the lessons I’ve learned this year.

Life is happening for you, not to you, if you CHOOSE to see it that way. Out of tragedy you can always find good. We learned a lot, strengthened our bond as a family, had adventures, found direction, become clear on what we want individually, as a couple and as a family. All because we CHOSE to take a tragedy and look at it from the positive side. Did we grieve, were we sad? Of course, but we CHOSE not to stay there. Eventually to choose to help myself I had to go to therapy, but I CHOSE to find help when I needed it.

Your life is a culmination of YOUR CHOICES.

You can come back from anything. If you CHOOSE to.

Next, I learned the importance of taking care of yourself first. I used to think that was a selfish notion. It’s not. It’s imperative to your ability to thrive. Every time I put myself first, above everything else, including my children, everyone in our family thrives. You can’t take care of anyone else running on fumes. You will be a shell of the person your people deserve if you do not take care of yourself FIRST.

For me, I’ve really focused on my mental health for the last few months. I take finances away from our family budget to pay for therapy. I take time away from our home to go to the gym. I skip meals or eat differently to make sure my body feels better. I skip having a glass of wine with my husband to make sure I feel great the next morning. Everyone ends up benefitting from my positive choices because I’m able to be the best version of myself.

Chris will freely tell you I am the heart of this family. I’m going to guess that’s also true in most of your families, that the mama is the heartbeat. Just like in your body, if the heart isn’t strong, nothing can thrive.

I’m coming into 2019 with so much excitement and joy. If you aren’t in a place right now where you are feeling excited and full of life, just know, a year can make a world of difference. CHOOSE to believe that life is happening for you, not to you, and your story will be amazingly different come Jan 1, 2020.


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