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Cash is back in school!

A bunch of things happened leading us back to Missouri. Honestly, we cried a lot of tears getting to a place of peace about it. 

Some of you may not know that Cash is from my first marriage, so we co-parent him with my ex-husband. Co-parenting is really hard sometimes but Chris and I both come from divorced homes where our parents didn’t get along, so we make a strong effort to have a good relationship with Cash’s dad because it’s the best for Cash. 

When you co-parent you are not always going to have the same opinions. We just had our first big clash and truthfully it got ugly for a minute. Cash’s dad felt strongly that he should go back to traditional school, we felt strongly he shouldn’t. This wasn’t a small matter and someone was going to have to come to the other side. 

I’m a little fiery, especially about my kids, and my first reaction was “I’ll see you in court”. I felt really strongly that Cash should be homeschooled. He has issues learning, he’s struggled in school since the beginning and he does much better with one on one attention. In homeschooling we can do the lesson as many times as he needs until he gets in, where in school he would fail the test, they would move on and he didn’t have the foundation he needed for the next lessons. I screamed and hung up the phone and cried, big ugly tears. They’re springing up now again as I write this. 

Chris and I laid in bed awake, holding hands and watching fishing shows on Discovery Channel most of the night. We couldn’t sleep. Someone was trying to take our child, real or not, that’s how it felt. So we laid there and we felt it and said no words to each other until the morning. 

The next morning we had my mom watch the kids and we went to Panera (we were in Florida, so it’s not called Bread Co there 😒) to talk through it all. We looked at the situation from every angle, even though our instinct was to fight it. We cried, A LOT. 

We ended with a phone call to my ex-husband, where we came to a mutual agreement. We still didn’t like it, it’s not what we wanted BUT we knew that fighting amongst ourselves would be much worse for Cash than anything else. We decided that Cash would go back to traditional school and go to the school in his dad’s neighborhood. It wasn’t in our plan to be back so soon and school was starting in a couple weeks so things needed to happen quickly. 

So, Cash started school again last week. It’s the first time I wasn’t with him on a first day. It’s the first time I wasn’t there when he got home. There are those pesky tears again....

Life isn’t always going to go the way you think it is. Your plans will get thwarted. Your life will get rocked. You will feel sadness and defeat. We just felt both of those. BUT, you do not get to just roll over when those things happen. Feel the sadness. I cried so many times over this, still am, right now. It’s important to feel the feelings. While you’re feeling all the things though, it’s incredibly important to look for the positive pieces. How can you take this and turn it into something good. What good could come out of it? How can you pivot when things go sideways? 

For us, we are taking a little time to get settled back in. We are positive coming back to Missouri will bring us something great. We are feeling all the things but incredibly hopeful at the same time. You choose if you wallow in the yucky, we are choosing not to. 

Sometimes when everything falls apart it gets rebuilt even better. ❤️h

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