I'm a runner!
My trainer CJ (see how I’ve claimed him as solely mine? Sorry 100 plus other people he trains daily, he’s mine now.) isn’t a huge fan of running as a main form of exercise. He doesn’t think logging mile upon mile, pounding the pavement is good for you or the optimal way to increase your health.
He just wrote a whole story about it actually and I commented “I hate when you personally attack me with your stories...”.
I trust him wholeheartedly, he’s beyond researched everything health and fitness. He’s an expert in his field.
Why do I keep running then, if he says we technically shouldn’t be running to optimize health?
Because as he put it, “I’m climbing my own personal Everest.”
I’ve been writing down “I ran a half marathon, finishing strong.” in my Start Today journal forever. Well, technically that’s a lie. I stopped writing it in my journal for a while because I lost the belief that I could ever achieve that goal. So I took it off the list. I gave up on myself.
Then after completing month one of GRIT, the thought resurfaced...and this time I thought “I think I might be able to do it...”
I went back and forth about it. Could I continue to do GRIT and train for a 1/2 marathon at the same time? I mean, even on my 4th round of GRIT I’m still taking modifications on things, so it’s not like I’m some fitness superstar over here.
I decided to just try. Let’s just see if I can overcome this obstacle.
I changed my verbiage in my journal to “I completed a half marathon...” instead of “I ran a half marathon...”. I don’t need to run the whole thing. I just need to make it to the finish line. Even if I’m last, finished is finished.
Running is where Heroic Heather and lesser heather really battle it out. GRIT workouts are HARD, but they change moves pretty often. I’m not doing the same movement over and over for 2 hours (actually we only work out in GRIT from 12-25 minutes, on average, so it’s never 2 hours).
Stepping on my treadmill and knowing I have to keep moving until I make it to 8 miles is mentally exhausting. Lesser heather can shit talk like no other. You don’t belong here. You’re too slow. You should just give up. Why the fuck did you think you could even do this? You’re stupid. This dream is dumb anyway. You’re so out of breath, you sound like you’re dying...and you want to go do this in front of a crowd of people?
Last Sunday I did my full 8 miles, running 6.5 of that. It was the first time lesser heather didn’t show up. Mile by mile, I’m teaching her that I’m going to keep showing up, whether she chirps or not, so she might as well stay home because she’s wasting her time.
Yesterday, pee problems and all, she stayed home. My physical pain sent me off the treadmill at 5 miles, not lesser heather. She didn’t come running yesterday.
So even though my trusted trainer isn’t the biggest fan of my running, he said I’m exempt from his rules, because right now I’m training my mind, one step at a time, and he knows that’s much more important than training my body.
And like the good pupil I am, I cut the sleeves off my shirt, channeling my inner CJ every step of the way.