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Jedis never sleep.

Coronavirus has really messed up my schedule.  Having the kids home 24/7 doesn't give me much time to work on writing, which takes a lot of focus.  It also doesn't give Chris and I a lot of time together sans kids. My answer to that has been to stay up late with Chris and wake up early to write.  

My late night time with Chris this week has been filled with episodes of Tiger King.  Seriously if you haven't watched this total shit show on Netflix, please go do it right now. It's the exact escape we need during COVID-19 quarantine.  Just trust me. It's the best thing to happen to 2020 so far. I don't recommend watching it before bed though, it's starting to give me nightmares. Give your self time to come down from this acid trip of a television program before you hit the hay.  

This morning I woke up at 6:30 after not going to bed until nearly 1am, dragged myself to the living room and put my headphones in for my daily meditation (we are doing daily meditation in StoryAthlete now and it's my favorite new habit).  I released my negative energy from my gay, gun toting, tiger attack nightmares with my ten minute guided meditation and picked up my computer to get to writing.  

Knowing my time restraints at the moment, I set a realistic goal of 5,000 words a week for Memoir Camp.  I was already falling behind on this though, since I hadn't written a single word since Wednesday and today is Sunday, so I needed to buckle down.  

At approximately 900 words in Colton materialized from him bedroom, his little body sliding under the quilt covering my legs.  As five years old tend to do, he barraged me with questions and matter of fact statements as I continued to pound out some of this word count.  

Mom, my pee is always yellow when it comes in the toilet.

Context: none. 

Mom, is Saturday too long?

     Saturday was yesterday. 

Wait, is that when you wiped your pee? 

     Yes, but I do that every time I pee. 

Hahahahahaha, that's so funny! Why do you do that?

Context: he saw me wipe myself in the bathroom yesterday and asked me what I was doing

Dillon didn't have the flu because he got a flu shot. 

Context: none 

Can you help me with Minecraft? 

Context: he can't figure out how to work the Xbox

Mom, I'm so sad I didn't have a sleepover last night. 

Context: he wanted to have a sleepover under the kitchen table with Cooper last night. 

Mom, do you know where the other one of those knives are? 

Context: he's lost one of the paint stir sticks he pretends are his ninja katanas

Wait, why did you write all that? 

     I'm writing a book. 

Why didn't you just write it in a book then? 

Context: he saw all the words on my computer screen. 

Mom, why did you break my headquarters base fortress yesterday?

Context: we built a fort with blankets and the kitchen table yesterday and I took one of the 

blankets to cover up with this morning. 

Mom, does part of your work have slashing?

Context: he's standing on top of his headquarters base fortress (the kitchen table) pretending he's a ninja with his paint sticks. 

Mom, Jedis never sleep, cuz they never get tired, they keep fighting.  Troopers get tired, cuz they don't got swords.

Context: still standing on the roof of the headquarters base fortress. 

Mom, do you know where my phone is? 

Context: his phone is a bottle of sunscreen that he pretends is  a smart phone. 

Mom, is this the bad team? It has sirens on it. 

Context: he has now gotten Chris's phone from the bedroom and he's showing me a meme of OJ Simpson's Bronco being followed down the highway by 20 police cars with the words "Me trying to go fishing during quarantine" posted above it.

I miraculously made it to 1500 words before I completely gave up and decided to write this story to share with you what it's like to try to write a book during quarantine with a five year old that wakes up with the sun.  

This book will get finished eventually.  I think.  

Sending love to all the quarantined parents out there who are trying to achieve their goals while answering questions about pee and building headquarters base fortresses.  We've got this. And if we don't at least we got some good stories out of it.  


  • It’s like you know my life! haha This is spot on for life at home with young boys. I loved the context you added in throughout!

  • Heather, This brings me back to decades ago when my youngest boys were the age of your Jedi. So many questions, no context, stream of consciousness while I’m fighting unconsciousness, oh my, so many long days. But nothing like trying to do that without being able to schedule play dates, or send them to school, or even go to the store where at least you’ll know what the questions will be and can set your MOM blinders. You have got this-You are a badass mama of Jedi’s which means you’re pretty much a goddess!

    Anna Walker

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