Guys, I started therapy last week for the first time in my life. Since we’ve built a platform of honesty, with the goal of helping others who may struggle with the same things we do, here’s my therapy journey.
Several things lead to me feeling absolutely paralyzed in my business and life. Having to end our travels before I anticipated so Cash could start back in traditional school. Chris deciding to go back to work. Daniel leaving the business, and what feels like my life, not on good terms. Moving back into our home and starting major renovations.
I felt responsible for all of these things that seemed to be going wrong. I internalized that I had done something wrong to make all of them happen. So, if I had made this many wrong decisions, I just needed to stop making decisions, because my track record is pretty rough at this point.
I felt more broken, vulnerable and unsure of myself than I ever have, at least as an adult. I tried to talk through it with Chris. Didn’t work. I tried to talk through it with friends and family. Didn’t work.
Chris and I had a really tough talk, I mean the leave you sobbing kind of tough, and I knew this “thing” was beyond what I was going to be able to get through on my own. That same day Jennifer Allwood was talking on a live video about how she sees her therapist via video chat and it clicked for me. I need to see someone and I can do it super conveniently since it’s freaking 2018 and technology is amazing.
I used betterhelp.com and was paired with a St Louis area therapist who I can email, live chat, call or video chat with. We emailed first, had a phone conversation last week and have emailed since on the homework she gave me.
Immediately, it’s like a weight has been lifted. She had insights I NEVER would have come up with on my own. I’ve spent a lot more time this week just being quiet with myself and honestly, that’s what I needed. Some silence to hear what God is trying to say. When there’s too much noise, you can’t hear what you are supposed to.
I wasn’t sure how to share this with you. I said that to Chris and he said, “I understand that, it feels like it would taint your brand.” I sat with that statement for a long time and came to the conclusion that my “brand” is honesty and therefore nothing but dishonesty can taint it.
We make tangible pieces of encouragement for people to wear. Beautiful pieces to help them feel strong and whole. We believe in the power of words and the divine and make jewelry to help you stay centered in that as well.
Telling an honest story about our current struggle as a family can’t “taint” that. It shows that we are just like you. We struggle, we fall down, we get back up, we rise again.
Here’s to therapy! 🥂